Desire & Getting The Sex Life You Want

Desire & Getting The Sex Life You Want by Charles Sledge

This is a chapter from my book Be A Man, Get The Girl: Testosterone & Success With Women. Enjoy.

There is a direct correlation between your success with women and your desire for them. Yes, I realize at first glance that’s like saying that water is wet but when you look deeper there is much to this. Alright so for example many guys especially in our modern Western society have problems having the sex life that they want. Now there are literally thousands of reasons for this (porn being a prime one) but one of the biggest ones is that most males do not have enough desire for women. They don’t have enough desire to go out and seduce women.

Now to most people not having enough desire just doesn’t make any sense. They think “It’s a beautiful woman, how could you not have desire for them?” and that’s the mindset that I had for a long time as well. That was until I started to understand what is happening to modern males and society and why many males don’t have the sex life that they want. In addition to why the PUA industry despite for the most part being a bunch of clowns who over complicate a very simple thing make bank. All of these things are tied together.

No Desire Equals No Results

If someone wants something enough they are going to get it. Whether it’s a house on the beach, a rewarding career, a body that is built like a brick shit house, or pretty much anything else. Sure there are some physical limitations as well as mental but overall if you get something or not comes down to if you want it bad enough. It may take time and it may take herculean effort but at the end of the day you get the things that you focus on and want most. Through hard work which is largely motivated by desire combined with discipline.

Now how this relates to having the sex life that you want. There is a war on masculinity and testosterone in the West. Males are becoming weaker and more effeminate day by day and the worst part is this weak effeminacy is becoming the norm. Imagine if you were a dog and you born on a farm where the dogs were all fed vegen diets. All around you dogs died young and were weak and feeble. You would think that this was how things naturally were because you’d have nothing else to compare it to. This is what is happening to men in the West.

Testosterone And Desire

These weak effeminate males while not having lots of desire still have desire for women but because of their weakness and effeminacy cannot go out and get them very effectively. They don’t have that drive. So they look for tips and tricks to do this for them. Instead of fixing the source of the problem (mostly low testosterone) they look for other methods to do this. I’ve gone out with guys before and they see a pretty girl and it’s like they’re looking at a boring painting or a lecture by a professor. They’ll rationalize this by saying that “She looks like a bitch” or even “I’m a little nervous” but at the end it’s because they don’t want it that much.

A lot of this could be because of porn but even with the removal of that poison it doesn’t cure everything. PUA has sprung up to put a band aid over all of this. And to get desire levels to where they should be males need to cut out porn and get their testosterone levels up. Look if you cut out porn and get your testosterone levels up you’re going to be sleeping with women on a regular basis. Your desire is going to get you up off your ass, working on yourself, and out there hitting on women that you want. It’ll be natural and healthy. However one issue that many guys say is that “This’ll take time is there anything I can do in the mean time?” and yes there is.

A Quick Fix

One of my friends told me about something that he did in college that always pretty much ensured that he’d end up with a girl at the end of the night. That thing was before going to wherever they were going that night (the main bars/downtown area) he’d hit up a strip club. He’d get a drink and hang out with the girls and let them turn him on and make him horny. Then once he was all jacked up and ready to go he’d head down to the downtown area and have all of the motivation he needs to go after girls and generally end up with success. Desire is the key to game.

Now don’t do that in replacement of quitting porn and getting your testosterone up but feel free to use it for a boost in your desire and game levels. If you’re out and you don’t have an animalistic urge to chase after the gorgeous women you see then you have issues that you need to address. Even sixty year old men with proper testosterone levels would (and sometimes do) chase after gorgeous women. Just remember this is you don’t have a visceral desire for good looking women something is wrong. Obvious yet I see so many males where something is obviously wrong and they’ll talk to me about something being wrong but do nothing about it.


If you’re not sleeping with the girls you want other than a few simple mind shifts and understanding of some principles then it’s because you don’t have enough desire to get up and get out and get after them. This is going to be either because of one or both of the following reasons. Your testosterone levels are down (like most males in the West) look raising your testosterone makes you feel like a new person and should be a high priority. Or too much porn, get rid of that shit and keep your seed for accomplishment and women.

If you enjoyed this chapter then I’d encourage you to pick up the whole book Be A Man, Get The Girl by clicking this link.

If you have any questions you would like to see answered in a future post send them to me at charlessledge001 (at) gmail (dot) com. If you found value in this post then I would encourage you to share this site with someone who may need it as well as check out my books here. I appreciate it. You can follow me on Twitter here.

-Charles Sledge

Charles Sledge