I get a lot of questions on a variety of topics. Everything from picking up girls, to starting a business, to working out, and more. I love answering them as the entire reason I have this site is the improve and change the lives of men. However after answering so many questions and thinking over some things I realized that most of men’s problems can be solved by focusing on one thing to the exclusion of all else, at least for a dedicated period of time. I often caution men to avoid focusing too much on chasing women and instead to focus on developing themselves, and this is even if the biggest concern in their life is getting laid.
Now why would I say this? After all wouldn’t focusing on something increase your results in it? And the answer is yes but there is a better strategy. So yeah focusing on say getting laid to the exclusion of all else will certainly give you more opportunities but if instead you focused on say working out and making money over getting laid, not at first, but over time it’ll provide you with many more opportunities than simply focusing on getting laid will. And this is just one example, it applies to all sorts of things and problems.
Over I would say there are a couple key problems that men suffer from. Because of the site and my work I’ve been able to interact with men of all ages, some married, some divorced, some single, some poor, some rich, and everything inbetween and have had a chance to see things from many different perspectives. I’ve seen guys with absentee or weak fathers who struggle with simply having the confidence to get through each day to another man who’s tired of working his 9-5 because it sucks the life out of him and takes away time from his family. Different men with different needs and at different levels of life.
One way to look at this is to put problems into different “levels”. So say a boy who’s insecure, gets scared talking to girls, suffers from depression is at level 1 problems. Meaning that an advancement for him would be just to be a normal guy. Whereas the good looking rich guy with his own company who is curious how to avoid taxes and balance dating the different super models on his private island would be a level 5 problem. And then of course not being able to eat or find shelter would be base level or level 0, which most men at least in Western and industrialized nations do not have to worry about.
Crawl Before Walk
So what does this have to do with becoming a high value man? So say a guy is at level 1 or 2 and he wants to start dating and meeting women (a common desire for men at this level). What’s the best way to do this? My answer is to get to level 3 or 4. Meaning that regardless of where a guy’s at there are essentially a couple key things that I’m going to recommend and they all have to do with becoming a high value man, this doesn’t matter if he’s at level 1 and just having a conversation with a girl would be a victory or much higher where financial independence is their goal.
Those things are lift weights, read books, write (doesn’t matter what just learn to communicate and organize your thoughts), and learn sales, copywriting, and marketing (which is essentially just learning human nature). These things combined with a few others depending on a man’s unique circumstance will take him from a level 1 to a level 3 or 4. Meaning that until you have high level problems your best bet is simply focusing on your development as a man.
Solving Problems At The Root Instead Of Hacking At The Branches
Lift weights (and eat a proper diet and sleep enough), read books (mostly non fiction on topics where you’re weak so if it’s money get a marketing book if it’s women get a game book and so on and so forth), write (jounrnal, goals, blog, whatever, just write to clear your head and organize your thoughts), and then learning human nature so you can use it. Focus on these things and the other things that you will want will come. Whether it’s financial freedom, hot girls to want to bang you, a women who might make a good wife, freedom to roam around on your motorcycle, escaping to another nation, or whatever else.
Getting the “basics” together will solve a good portion of your problems. These are things we all know but it’s one thing to know something and another to take action on it. Out of shape, get in shape, weak get strong, low on money, learn to make money, and so on and so forth. Stop dressing like a slob is one other thing I’d throw in there. Now there will be plenty of other problems regarding family, friends, and others that can’t be solved by working on yourself but a good portion of your problems can be. So focus on the right thing and develop yourself until you don’t even recognize who you are anymore (in a good way).
Put in the work and good things happen, it’s one thing to know this and another to apply it.
If you have any questions you would like to see answered in a future post send them to me at charlessledge001 (at) gmail (dot) com. If you found value in this post then I would encourage you to share this site with someone who may need it as well as check out my books here. I appreciate it.