Attract Don’t Pursue

attract don't pursue

This is a chapter from my book How To Get Girls: The Definitive Guide. Enjoy.

What does this mean?

Put simply it means that instead of chasing women you become the kind of man that women chase.

Simply put but how do you get there?

Invest In Yourself

First and foremost you must invest in yourself. You must take care of yourself and believe in yourself. If you don’t treat yourself well then others are not going to. And no woman wants to be with a doormat, whether it’s her own personal doormat or a doormat for others.

By building yourself up through investing in yourself you will naturally become more attractive to women. By putting yourself first women will become more attracted to you. Because they will know that you are a man who is confident and has self-respect.

Getting women is a by-product of being an attractive man. Being an attractive man has little to do with outer traits. Such as looks and money and a hell of a lot more to do with inner traits. Such as confidence, masculinity, decisiveness, and so on and so forth.

This is something that takes time and is a constant ongoing process. There never comes a time when you should stop growing, stop getting better, or stop investing in yourself. However don’t think you need to become some sort of superman before women will chase you, nothing could be further from the truth

First and foremost don’t think women are any better than you. I don’t care if she is Miss America and your a drunken slob who lives with your parents. If you don’t think a woman is better than you than that will show in your interactions with her. Nothing repels women more than needy and desperate men. And one of the top things that conveys neediness is thinking that a woman is somehow “above” you. Don’t ever let yourself fall into this line of thinking. No woman is better than you, no matter what. This doesn’t mean you need to go around thinking you are better than all women are treating them like crap just don’t ever think they’re better than you.

Now about how you can produce this vibe even without building yourself up first. Although ultimately you should be doing both.

Focus On Yourself

Focus on yourself and on thing you can control. When you go out don’t desperately try to get the attention of all the women there. This is lame and will make women more turned off if anything. Do your own thing. Have your own fun. Focus on having a good time and creating a memorable experience for yourself. Don’t focus or worry about the women there.

When you are doing your own thing and having fun, women will naturally be drawn to this. You will be carefree and not be focusing on them. Because of this they will want to see what you are all about.

Be your own personal party. Whoever comes into your zone is going to have a good time because your focus is on creating a good time for yourself. Not for others, not for the women, but for yourself. When you are care free and having a good time women are naturally going to match your emotions.

Women often act like mirrors reflecting whatever you are projecting back at you. Meaning if you are fun loving and having a good time the women around you are going to have fun and have a good time. They going to naturally match the emotions of the man they are around or with. Granted that he is a man and not a wimp.

You’ve probably seen this before. The guy who is surrounded by women yet could give a damn about them. Sure he might take one (or two) home but his focus is on himself and having a good time himself. He has a carefree, fun, and relaxed attitude. He projects a “I don’t give a damn vibe”. There is no doubt in anyone’s, especially attractive women’s, mind that he loves himself. People are drawn to individuals who love themselves.

The key here is to be comfortable. To essentially be yourself, your true self. To express that without giving a damn what others think. You must feel good yourself and then that will naturally be expressed to others and rub off on them. Focus on the things you can control, such as having a good time and don’t worry about the things you can’t control like the other people wherever you are at. Have fun don’t worry about others, including hot women.

If you feel like you need the girl you will never get the girl. Have fun with every girl regardless of how they look. Don’t treat attractive women any different than you would their plain friend. This will make you even more intriguing as most attractive girls are used to being worshiped. Even though they often eventually resent their worshipers.

A Caveat

Do your own thing yet don’t forget at some point you may want to pull a girl.

So don’t completely ignore a girl if she is in to you and you are in to her. Use common sense. At some point if you want to take the interaction forward you must take actions to do so.

Focus on yourself, on having fun, and on having a good time. Don’t make focus on a woman/the women.

Include girls in your vibe and if they don’t wane or like it then move on. Easy as that.

Focus on yourself and the things you can control and let the rest go.

If you enjoyed this chapter then I’d encourage you to pick up the whole book How To Get Girls by clicking this link.

If you have any questions you would like to see answered in a future post send them to me at charlessledge001 (at) gmail (dot) com. If you found value in this post then I would encourage you to share this site with someone who may need it as well as check out my books here. I appreciate it. You can follow me on Twitter here.

-Charles Sledge

Charles Sledge

  • H8TheWayLifeIs

    this kinda feels like a paradox of damned if you do, damned if you don’t, because aren’t men expected to pursue women? Isn’t it part of biology, nature, males have evolved to be the pursuers in nature, the male pursues the female in most, or almost all of the animal species on the planet. Since guys are expected to approach and make the first move, do the asking out, be the initiator, isn’t that part of being the pursuer?

    • Yeah I can understand how this might be confusing. A good way of putting it would be don’t be desperate in showing interest. Do it boldly and confidently. Most males spend their time chasing after girls going nowhere because they put women first in their life and have nothing going for them. So don’t be one of those guys.