Marriage has never been easy. Even when marriage was something that was supported by society and the media it still had plenty of challenges and required hard work. Now with many marriages ending in divorce and shattered lives marriage for many people seems like a risk that just isn’t worth it. However for those already in a marriage, a marriage that they want to keep going there are very few places they can turn for help.
The culture is against them. The media is against them. Society is against them. Their bitchy spinster friends and bachelor friends are against them. The married couple has very few places to turn to. While I am not married and don’t plan on being married anytime soon I still think marriage is a valuable thing. At some point I will want to get married, eventually I will wants sons and a family. Unlike many in this side of the internet I don’t see marriage as evil or awful simply as corrupted like everything else in our modern age.
Not only do I think marriage is desirable but also that it is healthy. Man and woman were created for each other sexually, socially, and every other way. Sure Feminists, MRAs, and many in the Manosphere will disagree with me (often vehemently) but that is their issue not mine. Not with that being said the way most marriages function is the west is a sick joke and one a man would be stupid to ever get himself involved in. Where the woman is mannish, demanding, and unfaithful and the man is henpecked, weak, and effeminate. This is not the marriage I am talking about. This is the reason that so many marriages fail because men don’t know how to be men and don’t know how to keep their woman in their place. A woman who isn’t put in her place will resent this and eventually either cheat or become so unbearable the man wants to throw himself off a cliff.
It doesn’t have to be this way. It was never meant to be this way.
If you are a man and want to save your marriage I would strongly encourage you check out the books below or if you are a man who is engaged these books are required reading (along with everything else on this site). Marriage can work and at some point in life is a good decisions. Granted that you know how to handle your women as not knowing how to handle your (and all) women is why so many marriages break down. Now on to the recommendations.
The Married Man Sex Life Primer by Athol Kay
While I can’t say I agree with everything Athol says and must say this is a awful title for a great book this book is a great for the newly married man or a man in a struggling marriage. This book despite the title is not about a man’s sex life exclusively but about all of the dynamics of marriage. From the man being the head of the household to keeping your woman attracted to you. Athol talks about “Alpha” and “Beta” traits and how while both are needed in a marriage it is the “Alpha” traits that are going to keep your woman loyal and with you.
Athol lays out a plan for the married man to develop himself and his marriage called the “MAP” which stands for Male Action Plan and explains how a man can raise his value and why that is important in a marriage. Many men falsely believe that putting a ring on a woman’s finger changes her nature when it doesn’t in the least. Marriage changes nothing as far as sexual dynamics go. You may think that’s not fair or that it shouldn’t be that way and perhaps your right but that doesn’t change the reality of the situation. Athol makes this clear and shows you how to avoid running into trouble in the first place. Society no longer has any repercussions for a woman straying the only way to keep this from happening is being a man a woman would never want to stray from. From being her alpha. Which honestly as a man you should be anyways (only difference when single it just changes from one woman to all attractive woman).
A Christian Man’s Guide To Love and Marriage in the 21st Century by Don Riefstahl
Not quite certain why men who write on marriage have trouble coming up with a good title but nevertheless A Christian Man’s Guide is a book that serves as a primer on what marriage is in today’s world and the stark truths about how marriage has changed since your grandparents or hell even your parents generation. Don starts out with a discussion of the red pill a term very familiar with us on this side of the internet. He goes into a brief history of how marriage has changed in the Western world and how that will affect a man’s decision to get married into the first place. Don is whining or saying “all is lost” simply stating what a man needs to be aware of before he ties to knot.
After the brief history Don then goes into what turns a woman on and why that is critical to having a successful marriage especially in today’s age and time. If you don’t as Roissy would say give your woman the “tingles” another man will and that will be trouble for you. Don discusses the ever important art of setting the frame and then delves into the realities of the sexual marketplace. A system that all men should familiarize themselves with. A Christian Man’s Guide is a great primer especially for those who are still a bit blue pilled in their outlook. Don leads them in and presents the truth without attacking them. A good solid introduction to red pilled marriage.
Staying Married In A Degenerate Age by Michael Sebastian
One thing different about Michael’s book is that it actually has a good title but like the other books it is a great read and essential for the married or soon to be married man. I wrote an extensive review of Staying Married but this list would not be complete without it. Michael runs at blog at Honor and Daring and if your are married do yourself a favor and check it out. While you can find out much more in the review I’ll cover the basics here.
In Staying Married Michael gives a brief history of marriage clearing up many false beliefs. He discusses the lies propagated by the media and society about marriage and how divorce while glamorized by the media is far from glamorous (ask any 40+ year old spinster). He tackles cheat proofing your marriage (a must for today’s world) and how to keep the spark going strong. He also discusses the role of man in the marriage and discusses things like faith and what to look for in a spouse for those not yet married.
If you know someone who is getting married or is married all three books should be required reading. Knowledge is power. You could read all of these books easily in a month’s time even with being a lousy reader. And if you ask me a saved marriage, a happy life, and a healthy family is well worth the effort. If you know someone who is struggling in their marriage refer them to this article. Hopefully they take action. Like the old adage says “You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink”. Before getting married make sure you pick up these books or if you are married then you definitely want to pick up these books. A book truly has the potential to change your life.
If you have any questions you would like to see answered in a future post send them to me at charlessledge001 (at) gmail (dot) com. If you found value in this post then I would encourage you to share this site with someone who may need it as well as check out my books here. I appreciate it. You can follow me on Twitter here.
-Charles Sledge
